Living with someone who has Bipolar Disorder can be difficult
I try (like many others I am sure) to keep Bipolar Disorder from wrecking my family. I don’t always succeed. In a lot of cases, it comes down to taking my medication on a regular basis (which historically I have not always done). Even at the best of times, living with someone who has Bipolar Disorder can be difficult. In some ways, it is probably harder to live with someone who is Bipolar than it is to be Bipolar yourself.
Having Bipolar disorder is just part of who I am. It isn’t “good”, it isn’t “bad”, – it just “is”. There are good days and bad days, but I expect that. Just because someone else thinks I am having a “bad day” doesn’t mean that I experience it that way. I don’t really know what it is like to live with someone who is Bipolar. I only know what they say and how they seem to react.
Long before I was diagnosed, a roommate said to me, “living with you is like walking on eggshells”. That kind of made me mad – and my response was something like “Well at least I wash my clothes”. This had nothing to do with anything – except that she didn’t wash her clothes.
My husband once said, “Living with you is like waking up with a rabid animal.” My thought was, “Then don’t talk to me when I wake up”. In either case, I still believe that I wasn’t doing anything particularly wrong – unpleasant for them maybe – but normal for me.
There are some things that you can do to help yourself deal with a household member that is Bipolar. Know these hints will not solve the problem, but they may make things better.
• Don’t say things like, “I am not putting up with this Bipolar shit!” First you will make them angrier than they already are. Second, you obviously are putting up with it, and they may feel compelled to remind you that you both live there, which will make you angry.
• Do keep an eye on whether they are taking their medication. If you can check on it in a prominent manner – do so, but likely you will have to sneak around them. You can’t easily force them to take their meds, and subtle reminders will probably create an explosion. But you have to decide if the explosion is worth it – or just be prepared in case it is not.
• Educate yourself so that you can see what “the disease” is, and what the person is. Know that the disease is also a significant part of a person. Also, know that a lot of what you like about them is because they are bipolar. While Bipolar Disorder makes things difficult, it also makes things interesting.
• If you can watch for disruptions, try to be there to compensate. Meaning; make sure children and other responsibilities are taken care of. It does not mean that you must do all the work but remember you aren’t necessarily doing it for “them” but for the others that depend on them.
• Try not to be angry at them for being who they are. Again, part of what makes them interesting is the disorder and for a lot of use – we like who we are most of the time. If you don’t like us, then leave.
• Lastly, and most importantly – if you can, be there to pick up the pieces when it breaks – because with most of us, it usually will.
Whether it is a spouse, child, a sibling or roommate, you will have to make a decision. If you can put up with the mental disorder, that’s great. You can help them, but you can’t change them. They can’t change being Bipolar, and criticism never helps.
Living With Someone Who’s Living With Bipolar Disorder:
A Practical Guide for Family, Friends, and Coworkers is an essential resource for anyone who has a close relationship with a person who has Bipolar disorder.
This book provides a much-needed resource for family and friends of the more than 5 million American adults suffering from bipolar disorder. From psychotic behavior that requires medication to milder mood swings with disturbing ups and down, this book offers a warm and often humorous user-friend guide for coping with bipolar loved ones, colleagues, and friends.
The book includes Guidance for identifying bipolar disorder symptoms and how to get the diagnosis confirmed Strategies for dealing with rants, attacks, blame, depression, mania and other behaviors. The book includes crucial information on medication and its effectiveness, potential side-effects and techniques for dealing with attempts to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
How many people with bipolar disorders can care for themselves, get help, feel supported and go on with their own lives? This important book contains real-life illustrative examples and a wealth of helpful strategies and coping mechanisms that can be put into action immediately.