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Mental Health Awareness, Mentally and Physically Abuse

Mental Health Awareness by Muddled Up Mummy

Today (10th of October 2015) is World Mental Health Day. So to do my part in trying to create and spread awareness I want to share with you my story. I am the person behind ‘Muddled up Mummy‘ and I call it ‘Behind the Smile.’

Please feel free to ‘share’ this to help create more awareness on Mental Health.

By the way, it’s long but very much worth the read. If you don’t have time to read it now, please save it for later.

Behind the Smile:
Mental Health AwarenessFor those of you that have met me, I’m sure you’d probably say I seem like a really happy go lucky kind of person. For those of you who haven’t met me, I’m sure you’d probably say similar. After all, I am a very optimistic and a positive type of person. You can probably tell this from my posts on Muddled up Mummy. But there is more to me than meets the eye. Behind the smile, there is a whole other person. A person who has been through more than most people you know. So let me introduce to you the real me.

I was born in Perth WA Australia in 1984. I was born into what seemed like the perfect little family. To onlookers, it would have been. Behind closed doors, though, it was far from that. At first things seemed good. Well for a bit they were. Then my brother was born and soon things turned really sour in our perfect little family scenario.

First it started with my Mother. She was mentally and physically abused by the person who was supposed to love her. After a couple of years, my father kidnapped my brother and I and fled to the capital of Australia, Canberra.

My mother soon followed, but he wouldn’t let her see us. She was devastated, and the fact that she already suffered from poor mental health didn’t help. As time went on my father got worse. He was hurting everyone, even his own kids.
Once he put me in hospital in the Intensive Care Unit, fighting for my life. What he did to me is a bit too much to share, though, but so you all know it wasn’t pretty, and I was only 4.
Another day he was sick of me and put me in the car boot while he was driving.
My brother and I were living in fear. Every mistake we made suffered costly consequences at the hands of our so-called father.
This went on for quite some time until authorities finally stepped in, and we were saved and went to live in foster care.

We soon started seeing our mother, and that eventually became every Saturday. She was the most beautiful soul, and I knew this already at such a young age. It was sad for us though as she suffered from Bipolar disorder and really couldn’t take care of us full time. So, when we did see her we really looked forward to it. We adored her so much. In my eyes, she was perfect and could do no wrong.

At the time though we didn’t even know she wasn’t well mentally. Then one day just before I turned 11 she passed away from a burst an aneurysm in the brain. I felt an angel had been taken from the earth. I was so sad. Yes, even angry.

God had taken one of the most beautiful souls on earth, and it had to be my mother.

I took this out on my foster mum because, in my eyes, she would never be, or could replace MY MUM.

I was really down for many years. I was never the same after my mother died.
As I got older, I started to date. I was in 3 serious relationships over a period of eight years. Two of them were disasters. The other wasn’t that great either – full of violence and mental abuse, name calling, control, alcoholism and cheating.

These were just some of things I had to endure. After I finally got free from this vicious dating spiral, I realized I‘d been dating versions of my dad and lost a lot of trust in people.

After years of torment, I developed a mental illness. Although doctors believe now, I had problems with my mental health from a young age as I would always struggle. But, after my entire trauma from both my childhood and from adulthood, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD.)

I tried to take my life many times and was in the hospital a lot. Slowly though I started to understand it was trauma from my past catching up with me and invading my life like a virus I couldn’t shake.

With a lot of support, I got my life back on track. It took a lot of strength and plenty of counseling, but I got there. But, this wasn’t the end of my struggles. It turns out I had Bipolar.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder a couple of years ago but, they say it’s been around for awhile and just wasn’t being treated.

I hated getting this label. It made me feel like I must be some kind of crazy. But, you know what; it really doesn’t make me crazy at all. I can’t help that I have this. They say it was probably passed down to me because both my parents had it.

But each day after finding out I would wake up, realize I have this label, and it would get me down. So one day I decided to ditch the label. I decided I am who I am, and not the label I’d been given.

So this is me.
I’m intelligent and witty.
I’m not bipolar.
I have a positive outlook on life even if I have some really down days.
I’m not bipolar.
I can actually be pretty funny.
I’m not bipolar.
I’m good looking.
I’m not bipolar.
I’m an amazing mother.
I’m not bipolar.
I’m a great friend, partner, sister, daughter and aunt.
I’m not bipolar.
I am me.
I’m not bipolar.

So, although I have this label that I don’t really like, I try not to focus on it. I focus on all the other things that make me myself. I take my meds and get on with it. But, I do have days that are really fucking hard. I have anxiety attacks at times. Some days I don’t really feel like talking to anyone. But amongst all this I’ve decided Bipolarity doesn’t define me. It doesn’t make me a freak. It’s just something I’ve been dealt, and I’ve learned to be OK with that. So OK with it, that I’m now sharing this.

Most of my family and friends don’t even know I have this illness. This fact will probably even surprise some of them. I used to be so ashamed because of the stigma behind Mental Health that I didn’t want anybody to know, but not anymore.

There needs to be more awareness about mental health, and this is my part in spreading it.

There will probably be a few of you that will dislike my page because I’ve shared this. But my hope is most of you will ‘Share’ this post and help spread the awareness.

Mental Illness doesn’t define a person. But you still need to be aware it’s there. It’s a struggle, and if you think those with it can just suck it up and learn to be happy. They can’t. It doesn’t work like that. So please share my story as awareness is a key to removing the stigma and being more open about the struggles that some people face.

Also thanks so much for taking the time to read this.

Now click ‘SHARE’, and also make a note of yourself that you actually don’t know someone and their struggles unless they are open about it. So spread some awareness so more people feel they can open up. Also, try to be more understanding when they do, because if we can all do this it just might save a life.

Also here is a link to a short film I made a couple of years ago about my life.

Feel free to check it out at http://youtu.be/rZFmo6pWq7c

To follow more of my journey, come over and ‘like’ my page. I am a first time Mummy sharing the good, the bad and the totally muddled up world of parenting. I also share a whole lot of inspiration & some humor as well. So why not come over and check out Muddled Up Mummy and if you like what you see, how about giving us a ‘like.’

What NOT to Say to a Bipolar Person

Stupid things said to people with bipolar disorder

Bipolar Disorder has become a bit more recognized lately, most likely due to the “coming out” of celebrities with outrageous behavior.  This has been good in raising awareness about bipolarity somewhat, but it has been bad because a lot of people think they know all about it.

In addition to not completely eradicating the stigma – it is also highly annoying when someone says something mean, wrong, funny, or even just plain stupid about bipolar disorder.  If you aren’t bipolar – don’t give advice to people who are.  Here are some of the things you should not do:

Don’t try to “join in”

Soo DepressedDon’t try to tell me you “know how I feel”.  Don’t relate your stories about how you were soooo depressed when your dog died.  Don’t try to tell me about how bad your insomnia is.  Don’t try to tell me about how you seriously almost destroyed a poster once or how embarrassed you were when…. Don’t.  Unless you are bipolar, you cannot understand the depression, the agitation, the anxiety.  I can understand that you want to show concern and make me feel “normal” but don’t.

Don’t tell me I should do better

Don’t tell me I can fix this.  Don’t tell me that I brought this on myself.  Don’t tell me to try harder.  Don’t tell me that it could be worse.  Don’t tell me that only religion can make me better.  I am doing the best I can; I didn’t want this disease, and frankly, I don’t want to hear it.

Don’t minimize

Don’t tell me to “snap out of it” or “get off my ass.”  Don’t give me platitudes like “this too shall pass” or “cheer up.”  Don’t tell me Not to Bipolar People“tomorrow will be better” or “everyone has a bad day sometimes.”  My disease, my experience is as bad as it is.  You can’t make it go away by acting cheerful or sympathetic.

Don’t try to shame me into being better

Don’t tell me that I am a real downer or that I am “dragging you down.”  Don’t tell me all about my bad behavior and how being around me is so painful – like “walking on eggshells.”  Don’t tell me about life not being fun…I already know.  If you don’t like it, it would be better if you just leave.

Don’t blame every disagreement on my disease

Don’t say anything about bipolar “shit” in the middle of an argument.  Just because I am angry doesn’t mean I am off my meds.  It doesn’t mean I am crazy.  Using my illness to win an argument is just plain wrong.  I have a right to be angry sometimes, and sometimes I am.

These are just a few things you should not do.  We have a lot of rules – some of which change just like us.

Happy Day!

Melissa Lind

Knowledge Conquer the Shame of Mental Disorder

People Do Not Understand Mental Illness

Article as text, and with Video for blind and partially sighted people (Text-to-Speech Video article)


Suicide is not a weak or cowardly person that takes the lightweight solution. Suicide is a result of a disease called depression. With increased knowledge, understanding, with an increased understanding the shame disappears.

Bipolarity - Catherine Zeta-JonesCatherine Zeta-Jones has got a place in our hearts. Now that she has stood out as a bipolar, we love her only more. She is not only a great artist, but a woman with courage, rant, empathy and honesty. She is a role model for all girls who grow up in the day, and a daughter-in-law all mothers want.

But what about the ordinary man or lady in the street that does not have any film career behind him or her, that is not a familiar face among the population?

To expect a person that we have never heard of, or meant something about, should open and stand naked in front of a whole country and tell about his (or her) inner hell, is a lot to claim. But it is needed to break down the taboo by having it painful.

The constant negativity is not something a depressed person has decided to have, but the result of the disorder depression.

And when it`s downward spiral no end will take, suicide thoughts come.
Suicide is not a selfish act!

Not Like in the Movies

People with cancer can also have good times, even though the physical pain is present. I think some program for people with a
mental disorder would have the same effect. It would scare away all horror stories about the psychiatric department is a “mad house” and that people with furthering psychosis are crazy.

It is no secret that people who have never experienced or seen mentally ill people at close range only refer to what they have seen the movie or even imagined. All based on the little knowledge they have about what a mental disorder is.

And just this little knowledge people who do not have experienced mental illness is sitting inside with, is crucial to do something about. With increased knowledge comes understanding. And with understanding it will be easier to deal with the shame for the mentally ill, and openness will appear.

A Taboos’ Disease

The question is how to reach out with this knowledge.

A solution could be to have designated subjects in high school that was mandatory for all Mental Disorder Taboostudents where they taught young people about what a mental disorder is. Inform about why it occurs, how to help people who suffer and how one can help themselves and seek help if they should be hit by a mental disorder.

A depression is not a bad day. A depression is not whining over a couple of weeks.
Depression is a disease in the head. A disease in the same line as cancer and other diseases that are not equally taboo’s.
If one is in a state of depression, one loses oneself? It can feel as if life is completely meaningless. One can’t get out of bed. Curtains are pulled down. Darkness – a depressive person wants the darkness.

SSRIs – Not a Pill of “Happiness”

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)

The balance in the brain is gone, and it is here the anti-depressive pills come into the picture – a means to restore balance in the brain. But it is not a “pill of happiness“.

Pills don`t make you happy automatically. Antidepressant does only half the job. The psychologist can do something, your friends and family also, but the rest is up to the depressed him or herself.

The depressed must have determination of another world and a false belief that everything is going to be OK. For the depressed it never feels like anything it’s ever going to be OK again. The depressed will get a different view of the world than before, and the pain feels like unbearable.

We Must Try to Understand Mental Disorder!

The Age of Anxiousness

We appear to have entered the Age of anxiousness…

We’re living in extremely trying, and hard times and matters don’t seem to be getting any easier. Occasionally life may seem terribly painful and unjust, yet for some reason we manage to battle on, daily, hoping and praying that matters will soon get better.

The world seems to be a more stressful, crazier and less settled place to live in. Nothing appears safe any longer. Millions of individuals are in record levels of debt. Several are losing their jobs, their homes, their wellness and occasionally even their sanity. Bipolarity, depression and anxiety, seams to have become a way of life for way too many individuals.

Many problemsWe appear to have entered the Age of anxiousness. The ceaseless stress and doubts of living in the 21st century have for sure taken their toll. Switch on the news or open a paper and we’re bombarded with distressing images and stories. We start to wonder if we’re safe anyplace. In this, the info age, never before have we had such access to so much information.

Another stressor is the economic system. A lot of Americans are in debt and so is our country. Lofty gas prices, exorbitant housing costs, even the cost of food has sent a lot of Americans to work in jobs that are disappointing and frustrating. They work these jobs as they require a paycheck.

Now, instead of work in a dream career, it’s more crucial to bring home the bacon.

Having more women in the workplace adds to the tension. Numerous women feel they have to be everything to everybody, and that includes a paycheck earner, home keeper, mother, wife, daughter, and sibling. The only trouble with that is a few women just don`t make any time for themselves, therefore, contributing to their stress levels representing an all-time high.

Even youngsters may feel the pressure of stress and anxiety. Adolescents who want to go to college discover themselves pushing themselves during their studies to attempt and get scholarships so they may attend schools that have ever increased tuition prices.

On top of all that, they discover themselves having to hold down part- time jobs to make money for extras that their parents can no more afford. Add peer pressure into the mixture and you’ve got a veritable pressure cooker! Cells, internet, palm pilots, blackberries, and i-pods – we’re always on the go and forever approachable.  We don’t make time to unwind and enjoy life any longer. Why not? We surely should!

If stress is induced by us not feeling in control of a state of affairs, the answer is to attempt and reverse this, and find that control.

The good news is: you are able to! You’ve everything inside you that you require to overcome your stress and the accompanying anxiety. The issue is, as we feel so out of control at the time, that we often don’t realize it. But the tools are there you simply have to use them.

You can find free downloadable e-books about stress, anxiousness and other mental health related issues HERE!

Stress Management Ideas

Stress management isn’t as hard as it may actually appear.

However, we can’t accept this next point enough.  If you believe you’ve too much stress in your life, it might be helpful for you to talk with your local mental health connection, doctor or spiritual advisor. Because responses to stress may be a factor in depression, anxiety and other disorders like bipolarity or borderline personality disorder, they might suggest that you visit with a qualified counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or other.
I don’t want to present myself as a medical professional. All I want to do is give you a few tools to apply you in life to help you better cope with those matters that make us overwhelmed and feel out of control.

You might also want to check into time management tools in order to do away with some of your stressors. When we feel like we don’t have enough time to do the matters that need to be done, that brings on more stress and may lead to anxiety. Believe me, you don’t want that!

Stress management ideas are easy cost effective techniques effectively to check stress. They may be practiced anyplace and at any time.  Well, nearly!
If you feel you’re in need of help, don’t hesitate. You may not be correct always.  The cause of your stress may be for no reason at all.

But it may be physical in its origins.  Somebody else may be able to solve it easily. Comprehend your limitations and it may relieve stress to a great extent.

Simsons is StressedStress is a normal part of life for all of us. In little quantities, stress is suitable — it may help you be more productive and motivate you. But, too much stress, or a heavy response to stress, is adverse. It may set you up for particular physical or psychological illnesses like infection, heart conditions, as well as general poor health or depression. Lasting and unforgiving stress frequently leads to anxiety and unhealthy behaviors like binging and abuse of alcohol or drugs.

Just like reasons for stress differ from person to person, what relieves stress isn’t the same for everybody. As a whole, however, making particular lifestyle changes as well as discovering healthy, gratifying ways to cope with stress helps many individuals. I hope that I’ve given you some helpful ways to deal with the stress that we from time to time all feel!

Most importantly, remember that you’re in no way alone in this combat. There are 100s of 1000s of individuals out there who feel deluged and nearly wholly out of control. That’s why it’s necessary for you to find peace inside yourself and realize that we’re all on this gigantic blue marble for a reason.
You are also! Savor it and live life to its best. And when you feel yourself stressed out or upset with a panic attack, slow down, breathe through it, and know there are lots of people who know exactly how you feel.

Beyond Bipolar Disorder Videos

Bipolar Disorder Videos Updated Regularly

Comment to the video (What is Borderline Personality Disorder) on the page: Bipolar Disorder Videos

Bordeline Personality DisorderAs said in this video; Borderline Personality Disorder comes particularly together with bipolarity, depression and anxiety. This announcement brings me to another of the videos, where they talk about the types of Bipolar Disorder. They mention 5 types of bipolarity, but Bipolar Disorder is more complex than that.

I have written about earlier on my blog; bipolarity is a combination of several health conditions. In addition to the five types they mention in the video, bipolar people also might be (and often are) suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, depression and anxiety.
(As well as a lot of other mental health medical terms in use – mania, delirium, hypomania etc.)

This brings up the question: are there more than 5 types of bipolarity? All these conditions somehow seem to be connected.

Everybody can be depressed from time to time, so depression as such, isn`t an illness, a disorder or a defect, but both borderline personality and anxiety have their own diagnoses as disorders. If one is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, then I wonder if Borderline Personality Disorder and Anxiety Disorder also can be considered to be a part of bipolarity.Eternal Conflict

If someone out there can enlighten me (and others) about these issues, please do write on my blog! (Any comment is welcome as long as it`s not written in a “spammed” manner.) 😉

Gust writers are welcome on my blog! (I will check the quality and uniqueness before articles can be published though!) 😉