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“Mania Days” – Movie about Bipolar Disorder

“Mania Days,” Debuts at South by Southwest Film Festival in Austin

Mania Days” is a movie by Paul Dalio, features Katie Holmes and Luke Kirby as two New Yorkers suffering in the various stages of Bipolar DisorderMovie About Bipolar DisorderDalio, who in actual bipolar mode, wrote, directed, produced, edited and unbelievably – “scored” his own movie which is based on his own discovery of his bipolar disorder.

In an interview with the Huffington Post, Dalio describes the Holmes character as what he was like when he had his first episode “really scared and ashamed of it”.  The other character, played by Luke Kirby is based on a period of when he “started to romanticize bipolar disorder” and “embraced lunacy”.

Dalio himself endured three years of bipolar misery but eventually adhered to treatment when he recognized the pain he was causing his family.  Now he credits much of his inner peace to meditation (in addition to medication) and adherence to a routine schedule – including sleep.

The film debuts at the 2015 South by Southwest (SXSW) Music, Film, and Interactive Festival in Austin, Texas which runs a number of independent films.  The film festival coincides with the world famous music festival and an “interactive” conference which includes “gaming” and interactive media.

Katie HolmesKatie Holmes’ presence in the film shows potential for commercial success, but whether it achieves stardom – it is a good thing for bipolar disorder.  Basically, any attention for bipolar disorder is good – even the “bad” of bipolar disorder – as awareness can only reduce bipolar stigma.

I know that in my own journey over 20 plus years, I have gone through many stages.  I don’t much remember being “scared” of the diagnosis – or even of my behavior.  I have chosen to steel myself with “it is what it is”.

I did, however, maintain a long romance with the idea of “crazy” is good.  I spent many years believing (and many hours arguing with my therapist) that being “normal” was boring.  The last thing I wanted to be was “normal”.

I would like to say I was young and stupid – which I was but maybe part of the truth was that I had been crazy for so long that it was “normal”.  Eventually, crazy is exhausting – and you can’t do it anymore.

In most cases – you are eventually stopped from being crazy – up against a wall, sometimes caught by family members but sometimes a lot worse.  You get normal – only to get bored and do it all again.

As much as I would like to say that there is a real way to stop this cycle – in many cases there is not.  Even with medication, the cycle will continue – for a while.  Eventually, hopefully, you just get too tired of doing crazy.  Lost relationships, lost jobs… lost stuff.  It is exhausting.

Today – I am stable on medication.  Like an alcoholic – I say today.  Tomorrow and likely next week I will be stable on medication.  I would like to say forever – but I remember (at least what I do remember) that someday I may not.  The best I can do is to be open and forthright about my disorder so that those around me may know the signs if I decide to do “crazy” again.

Even though, I live near the festival and have many friends who are attendees, musicians, event planners, and sponsors – I won’t be seeing the film in Austin… crowds, excitement, and all that are no longer my thing – but I will see it, and I hope it is good.  Even if it isn’t great, it is another step in the right direction for the disease.

The Movie about Bipolar Disorder, “Mania Days”, Debuts at Film Festival in Austin

Melissa Lind

Borderline Personality Disorder in the News

In the news (and movies): Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) doesn’t get a lot of “press” or screen time.

We have all seen movies and news stories about people with bipolar disorder. (Girl Interrupted, Mad Love, Borderline Personality Disorder Newsand the unforgettable Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf, drug addiction) (Chris Farley, Philip Seymore Hoffman, and Anna Nicole Smith), and major depression (Robin Williams, Owen Wilson, and Princess Diana).  Many of these movies or real-life examples also show how mental disorders are intertwined.

Depression comes with alcoholism, bipolar disorder comes with drug addiction, bipolar disorder comes with a lot of issues – but not much attention gets paid to Borderline Personality Disorder.

Borderline Personality Disorder has a few issues:

  1. It is a personality disorder and not a psychiatric disorder that can be treated with medication
  2. It is hard to diagnose and can often be confused with other disorders
  3. Borderline patients may misrepresent their behavior to medical professionals
  4. Borderline patients are often “difficult” to be around
  5. Borderline personality disorder is not well known – make it not well known… and, for this reason, there is no reason to write a news story or make a movie about it.

“Good news”;

I put that in parentheses because the diagnosis is not great – but it is good that BPD is getting a bit of attention.  Two notable examples – one not so great and one which may or may not be great.

Not So Great;

The trial of Jodi Arias.  In 2008, Travis Alexander was brutally murdered.  He was stabbed over 20 times, shot, and photographed after his death.  The alleged perpetrator: his girlfriend, Jodi Arias.

The case has been pending for many years – one of the reasons may be the development of a clear understanding of why Arias acted the way that she did after the murder.  Reportedly, Arias was witnessed immediately after Alexander’s memorial (including explicit text messages sent for “flirting”), and she has been pegged as a possible borderline patient.  This is in addition to Alexander’s former friends that reported her stalking behavior, and her statements that the boyfriend was a pedophile and a domestic abuser.

Arias’ own friends and a court psychologist have reported erratic behavior, similar to that of BPD.  No verdict has been issued as of yet, and we may never know, but it does bring BPD into the news (not in a nice way but into the light, however).

In fact, some mental health professionals have expressed the belief that BPD patients may be more dangerous – both emotionally and physically – than most other mental disorders, some likening it to a form of sociopathy.

Possibly good news;

Borderline Personality Disorder in the NewsOn the movie front, Kristen Wiig (of Bridesmaids –and the new, all-female Ghostbusters) has starred in a”dramedy”. Dramedy is  a combination of a comedy and drama that is centered around a woman with BPD.   In Welcome to Me, the character, portrayed by Wiig, wins the lottery and uses part of the money to start a talk show.

Along the way, she skips out on treatment, quits taking her meds and ends up living in a casino.  No word on reviews for the show, but it has some big names including Joan Cusack and Tim Robbins. It is produced in part by Will Farrell, and even though it premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival, theater showings have not been announced.

If you know a BPD patient – imagine what he or she might do after winning the lottery.  BPD is hard to diagnose, hard to predict and even tougher to be around.

Whether the movie is any good, whether the trial comes to a just end…

Melissa Lind

Borderline Personality Disorder has gotten some attention!

Is it Antisocial Personality Disorder?

Some teenagers act as if they have antisocial personality disorder

I once knew a family with a son who was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.  The “kid” had grown up in a wealthy subdivision with a father who was a former professional athlete.  The “kid” had everything that most “kids” would want.  In high school, he had a brand new car that he immediately totaled after a party.  He was in trouble with the law several times during high school.

When his father tried to put his foot down, his mother took the “kid’s” side.  She thought he would grow out of it.  Others said that his behavior was the result of “privilege”, which certainly didn’t help, but it is clear that not every wealthy kid is a spoiled brat – and a dangerous one at that.

Antisocial Personality DisorderRather than using his position and financial ability to go to college and earn a degree, he started doing drugs and got kicked out.  He was sent to a famous rehabilitation center where as soon as he “dried out”, he beat up a staff member and was thrown out.  He went home and beat up his girlfriend, but his mother hired the most expensive lawyer available, and he was given probation.  He was arrested with a sizeable amount of drugs – and again was bailed out by his mother.

This went on for a number of years – but the teenage behavior never stopped.  He finally exhausted the judge’s leniency and ended up in a state penitentiary.  Each time, he blamed his behavior on someone else.  He wouldn’t have gotten drunk if he hadn’t been so mad, he wouldn’t have beaten his girlfriend if she had just done what he said… and on and on.  This “kid” was 35 by the time he went to prison, but he never understood what he had done wrong.  It was still someone else’s fault.

When someone is disagreeable, people will often say “He is anti-social.”  What they are referring to is an actual psychiatric diagnosis, Antisocial Personality Disorder, but just because someone is disagreeable or even downright rude doesn’t mean they have the condition.

A personality disorder is a pervasive pattern of behavior that is not “acceptable” by cultural standards.  It is readily seen as abnormal behavior and usually starts in adolescence or early adulthood.  In order to qualify as a “disorder”, it must lead to personal distress or impairment.

Antisocial personality disorder cannot be diagnosed until the age of 18 because many of the “symptoms” seem like typical teenage behavior.  It is characterized by disregarding and violating the rights of other people.  Many teenagers act as if they have antisocial personality disorder – but they don’t.  In addition, in order to be labeled as “antisocial“, there must have been some conduct disorder symptoms before age 15 – or the time kids are often worst as teenagers.

Ashamed of Mental Health StigmasThings that kids do or say during the teen years, don’t count.

A person with antisocial personality disorder has a general disdain for the rights of other people and may violate those rights on a routine basis.  They may be charming, but ruthless and are likely to be irresponsible, irritable, and aggressive.  They are also likely to be in legal trouble and likely to abuse drugs or alcohol.

Antisocial Personality disorder also comes in a range of severity.  A person with mild antisocial personality disorder could be compared to a teenager who continuously borrows her mother’s jewelry when she has been told not to.  This would not be completely out of the norm in some teen girls, but in adults, it may indicate pathology.

People with more dangerous or harmful behavior are referred to as sociopaths or even psychopathsSociopaths have even less regard for someone else’s rights or property and may not even feel the need to argue if confronted – acting like a schoolyard bully.  Psychopaths are said to have a complete lack of conscience and are unable to recognize the violation and do not have the ability to empathize – something like “The Joker” in Batman.

People with antisocial behavior patterns are also extremely manipulative and splendid liars.  It is hard to tell what is true and what is not true.  They may appear to be friendly when they want something, or they may attempt suicide when they want something else.  It is a fine line to walk, whether to believe them or not.

Unfortunately, personality disorders are not something that can be changed through medication.  In this case, it is a failure of conscience, and there is no pill for that.  In some cases, therapy can work but the therapist must be very skilled in order to avoid being manipulated themselves.

Melissa Lind

Living with Someone Who is Bipolar

Living with someone who has Bipolar Disorder can be difficult

Living with Bipolar DisorderI try (like many others I am sure) to keep Bipolar Disorder from wrecking my family.  I don’t always succeed.  In a lot of cases, it comes down to taking my medication on a regular basis (which historically I have not always done).  Even at the best of times, living with someone who has Bipolar Disorder can be difficult.  In some ways, it is probably harder to live with someone who is Bipolar than it is to be Bipolar yourself.

Having Bipolar disorder is just part of who I am.  It isn’t “good”, it isn’t “bad”, – it just “is”.  There are good days and bad days, but I expect that.  Just because someone else thinks I am having a “bad day” doesn’t mean that I experience it that way.  I don’t really know what it is like to live with someone who is Bipolar.  I only know what they say and how they seem to react.

InsaneLong before I was diagnosed, a roommate said to me, “living with you is like walking on eggshells”.  That kind of made me mad – and my response was something like “Well at least I wash my clothes”.  This had nothing to do with anything – except that she didn’t wash her clothes.

My husband once said, “Living with you is like waking up with a rabid animal.”  My thought was, “Then don’t talk to me when I wake up”.  In either case, I still believe that I wasn’t doing anything particularly wrong – unpleasant for them maybe – but normal for me.
There are some things that you can do to help yourself deal with a household member that is Bipolar.  Know these hints will not solve the problem, but they may make things better.

•    Don’t say things like, “I am not putting up with this Bipolar shit!”  First you will make them angrier than they already are. Second, you obviously are putting up with it, and they may feel compelled to remind you that you both live there, which will make you angry.
•    Do keep an eye on whether they are taking their medicationNormal and MiserableIf you can check on it in a prominent manner – do so, but likely you will have to sneak around them.  You can’t easily force them to take their meds, and subtle reminders will probably create an explosion. But you have to decide if the explosion is worth it – or just be prepared in case it is not.
•    Educate yourself so that you can see what “the disease” is, and what the person is.  Know that the disease is also a significant part of a person. Also, know that a lot of what you like about them is because they are bipolar.  While Bipolar Disorder makes things difficult, it also makes things interesting.
•    If you can watch for disruptions, try to be there to compensate.  Meaning; make sure children and other responsibilities are taken care of.  It does not mean that you must do all the work but remember you aren’t necessarily doing it for “them” but for the others that depend on them.
•    Try not to be angry at them for being who they are.  Again, part of what makes them interesting is the disorder and for a lot of use – we like who we are most of the time.  If you don’t like us, then leave.
•    Lastly, and most importantly – if you can, be there to pick up the pieces when it breaks – because with most of us, it usually will.

Whether it is a spouse, child, a sibling or roommate, you will have to make a decision.  If you can put up with the mental disorder, that’s great.  You can help them, but you can’t change them.  They can’t change being Bipolar, and criticism never helps.

Melissa

Living With Someone Who’s Living With Bipolar Disorder:

Living with someone who is living with bipolar disorderA Practical Guide for Family, Friends, and Coworkers is an essential resource for anyone who has a close relationship with a person who has Bipolar disorder.
This book provides a much-needed resource for family and friends of the more than 5 million American adults suffering from bipolar disorder. From psychotic behavior that requires medication to milder mood swings with disturbing ups and down, this book offers a warm and often humorous user-friend guide for coping with bipolar loved ones, colleagues, and friends.

The book includes Guidance for identifying bipolar disorder symptoms and how to get the diagnosis confirmed Strategies for dealing with rants, attacks, blame, depression, mania and other behaviors. The book includes crucial information on medication and its effectiveness, potential side-effects and techniques for dealing with attempts to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.

How many people with bipolar disorders can care for themselves, get help, feel supported and go on with their own lives? This important book contains real-life illustrative examples and a wealth of helpful strategies and coping mechanisms that can be put into action immediately.

Bipolar II – Really?

Is it Bipolar II – or just plain Bipolar Disorder not yet recognized?

Google “Bipolar” on the “news” tab and see what you find.  It is astounding how many semi-celebrities have come out and said “I have Bipolar Disorder”.  Unfortunately, the story is often about Bipolar II, which somehow makes it “better”.

Bipolar Disorder is still a serious stigma – prevents people from getting jobs and such.  Technically, as Bipolar Disorder is considered a disability, an employer who did not hire or fired an admitted bipolar patient based only on that fact would be in violation of the American Disabilities Act, but few people are willing to go to the carpet on that.  Plus there is the little issue of being “able” to perform one’s job.  I can perform a job if I am taking meds.  If I am off of meds, I become highly unreliable with a lot of other liabilities – risky behavior that I have decided not to discuss.

Only a couple of years ago, I was warned by a well-meaning family member against posting too much on social media about Bipolar Disorder – and this in his mind included “liking” too many Bipolar pages.  He was concerned about my ability to obtain a decent job.  I don’t know if I have a “decent “job today – I have made my own way which works out better for me – no boss to annoy, no dress code, nobody else’s time clock.  For the most part, I don’t worry about social media – I don’t think I will ever have a “real” job again – no more frequent flyer miles for me.

Bipolar 2I was once diagnosed as Bipolar II – but really, both the doctor and the therapist thought differently – they both knew that I had regular Bipolar Disorder but wasn’t ready to accept it.  Actually, I am pretty sure my doctor tricked me into taking Lithium for the first time by telling me that it would help boost my antidepressant activity.

In retrospect, I am astounded that I believed him since I know so much about medication – but I took the medication.  How many of these people really have Bipolar I Disorder and just don’t say so.

It is much easier for people to say and accept that they have Bipolar II.  In my opinion (which is obviously vast and knowledgeable – just kidding, no really), Bipolar II is a way of sliding by the real diagnosis.  As in “I have Bipolar Disorder but not really”.  “I have Bipolar Disorder but I am not crazy”.  “I have Bipolar Disorder but I am not dangerous”.  “I have Bipolar Disorder but I won’t embarrass you”.
When it gets down to it…wasn’t that true for all of us at one time?  Or at least didn’t we believe it at one time?  I still fit some of the criteria – I am “functional”, “productive”, “hypomanic” – except when I am not.

I often confuse my doctor when he asks how it is going by saying “good enough”.  What I mean is that I am not manic exactly, I am not depressed.  Actually it works better for me if I am teetering on the edge of mania.  If I am just crazy enough that I know that I am crazy – then I will keep taking my meds.  Because I forget.

I originally sought treatment for severe depressiondepression bad enough that I had to decide whether to kill myself or study (I had a big exam the next day).  In retrospect, I was actually in a mixed episode with plenty of energy but in a really bad mood.  Oh, and then there was the slight issue of the hypnogogic hallucinations which I denied at the time.  See, even if I know that I have Bipolar DisorderManic Depression – I still forget.

It would be easier for me to say that I have Bipolar Disorder but it is “just” Bipolar II.  I thought that too.

Melissa

Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Women

Lots of women first develop generalized anxiety disorder during childhood

GAD and Women


Studies have shown that while 19 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders each year, of that number, the majority of them are women.

Feeling anxious is quite normal — until and unless it starts interfering with one’s day-to-day life, or preventing one from reaching their goals. In fact, normal anxiety is a contributing factor to helping us get things accomplished — especially in women.

What most people don’t realize is that many women suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. Women are “natural born worriers” for the most part, but there are those women who suffer a bit more than others. Women who suffer from GAD worry about everything, and that fear brings about physical problems, such as headaches, muscle tension, an inability to relax, fatigue, lack of focus, and more.

Would you believe that many of these women first develop GAD during childhood?

It is true — and because of this, they never even realize that there is a problem. In fact, they often will assume that everyone worries as much as they do. It’s completely “normal” as far as they are concerned, because it has always been a part of their lives. Most of these women cope very well with the anxiety — simply because they are used to it.

Then there are those who have never suffered from GAD, and actually never have had worried more than anyone else about things. Suddenly, they are overwhelmed with anxious feelings. And because this is new, and they are not used to it, it becomes a huge thing to worry about — on top of whatever else they may be worrying about.

Often, for women, the cause of the anxiety in this situation is hormonal changes. Estrogen and progesterone levels change over time. In fact, a woman is likely to experience more anxiety during PMS, perimenopause, menopause, and even pregnancy. Estrogen affects the levels of serotonin that the brain is producing. This serotonin gives us our “sense of well-being.”

For lots of women, the anxiety passes as either time or medication puts the hormone levels back into check. Other women may discover that they have been suffering from GAD for most of their lives, with the change in hormone levels drastically elevating the condition.

In any case, there is treatment and help available. You can go through life without so much worry and anxiety.